Home > Uncategorized > Entry for October 20, 2008

Entry for October 20, 2008

Well isn’t it great that the Rays won Game 7 in the ALCS?
I was thrilled to tears totally glad that the Sox were going home.
Ever since there 2004 comeback I’ve been a little pissed off.
You know it’s odd. You don’t know you are rooting against a certain team until TV comes around and says there is some kind of jinx or perhaps a little “monkey business,” to their losing. I liked Roger Clemens but I must admit to rooting for the Mets when the Mets beat the Sox in the World Series. What the hell. I’m an ex-New Yorker.
I was really thrilled the Rays held on. What an 8th inning!
Those damn broadcasters really play the stuff up about Red Sox comebacks. Was it in the 9th when Drew came up and the announcer said he “always” comes through? Or was it still the 8th? Weren’t there 2 runners on? A homerun would have spoiled so much! Oh, my God, Drew strikes out!

I had a dream last night. My mom was sitting in one of the squares in Hollywood Squares. Oh it was a funny dream. Mom was visiting offices as seemed to make her happy. Maybe it has something to do with my computer learning. I’ve learned so much about MS Office. Maybe that’s it indeed. It seemed a little like the offices where the Alachua County Mental Health Clinic convened in the 1980’s. It was nice to see her face but she was a bit quiet like she was after the stroke and wearing blue an item my Aunt Marguerite gave her. Aunt Margie is mom’s little sister. It was a dark blue bathrobe type of thing. She looked nice in it and it was nice to see her awake. The stroke caused mom to sleep most of the time until she died just 4 weeks after. I had thought it a blessing. I have an understanding of death as “graduation” from the Urantia Book and of a spiritual nature from Adidam and the Siddhas but I have a lot of respect for life. Prem Rawat tells us not to depend on death to liberate us which is the fundamental Christian thought, we die and go to heaven, but enjoy our lives. Be thankful, meditate on the breath that keeps us alive. When mom died everything came to me and I think the greed in me may have desired that more than her “graduation” to another world where things are better, since I am not so well versed in what that is all about. Everything is Shiva anyway, right?
I miss mom though, her cheeriness and sense of humor and not her retirement check. I think maybe I have grown a complex that way surrounding my unemployment and dependance on others. Maybe others want to give me a complex. It’s an interesting psychological expression, the complex. He has a guilt complex or she has a real complex about that. That’s something I would like to learn more about.

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