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Filling the void

All my friends left me in 1977/78. I ended up going to mental health counseling.
Since then there are just those who try to fill the void, but they cannot. A job is supposed to do it and support me too, that is take care of my living expenses. I had a part time job while I went to school to learn about computers. It didn’t do it.
I thought yoga would do it but it hasn’t it. The people in yoga are as unloving as the people who had to “move on.”
The Hare Krsna movement has looked very attractive to me, but I don’t want to quit having sex. I don’t go to bars anymore because they are like speed traps, a cop comes and gets you. That was back in the 90’s. The cops picked me up a lot in the late 70’s, 77/78. It was like cultural profiling. I was the type.
I was thrown in jail over night in the university city of Fayetteville, AK , just for a few hours in one little town a stone’s throw away from there.
Why does it seem like I should have joined the Army instead of going to school? 20/20 hindsight, I guess.
And somebody is looking over my shoulder. I don’t appreciate that. What’s the point?
I never took being the black sheep of the family too seriously. To me I live in a family of black sheep and I’m the one who’s pure as snow. No nobility, all conformity.
So, that’s that.

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