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Daily Works, Abhasya, A Letter to “monthly abhasya” of Daily Attribute

June 9, 2010 Leave a comment

I don’t really do abhasya. I listen to a lot of chants and texts but I don’t take your abhasya section to heart and follow it to the letter.
Maybe it’s my own reflection I see in your abhasya, non-descript, anonymous, hidden away. It doesn’t look like a path to success to me and I am very worried about failure.
I know Swami Kripananda was a professor and the abhasya suggestions sound just like something from school albeit lacking in the color and charisma of personalities charged with offering a class. I’ve read once about overmental samadhi or something like that and they do seem rather overmental. Were I a little genius I might like these things. I think I would rather have a teacher hand them out than see them on the Internet, though.
I used to take dinners (prasad) at a Hare Krsna center and they preached all about impersonalism and so forth. I found their teaching very engaging and I liked the mantra. I just didn’t like that they didn’t support a woman’s right to abortion and I wasn’t ready for the extreme asceticism of bhramacharya, no sex, no drugs, no meat, fish and eggs. Are these things “lurking” somewhere in Siddha Yoga, hiding behind Mayi’s friendly face and inside of these mysterious aphorisms. All these words that begin with the short sounded A. Like a doctor tells you open your mouth and say Ahhhhhhh.
Today I was reminded of my mom’s inspirational teachers and written material. God, how that didn’t compare to my college philosophy course where we read Plato and Herman Hesse. Nor was it my sociology where we learned about how the world was going to change and there was going to be so much more leisure time, a point I think made in Future Shock. I wonder if that is what I am suffering from today as I feel useless without a B.A. and my girlfriends have gone off to find careers and relationships that “work.” My boy friends can do without me, too. My mod died 3 years ago. Into all that comes abhasya, “the daily devotional,” our “dail word,” or words of UNITY. How totally not IT! Not consciousness and bliss. I think about how Siddha Yoga fails my own definitions of consciousness and bliss. More so it seems lately. Maybe since the webcast. It was very nice the webcast and I ascribe the good things that happen in this month to it. Oh, that reminds me, I must make sure there is some money to pay bills. I transfer funds from one account to another. I sold mom’s house so long ago, September. Now the money is running out. I sometimes chant the Mahalakshmyastakam Stotram but I can’t do it every day. There is not the support for that although there is a Siddha Meditation Center 34 miles from where I now live. It is certainly nothing like college though and the pot smoking and naked women, etal.
Sadgurunath Maharaj ki jay!

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