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Boy, I’m having some problems with Facebook. I write a status and then it

comes up What’s on your mind? Like it says when you first look at it.

I think the Sweet IM thing, the emoticons thing that only can work with IE

is the problem because when I post without that bar over the status box it

posts okay. So, some problem with that. I wonder if I run Reg Mechanic if

it will correct itself.

I was trying to post one post about my families attractiveness quotient. They

are not doing very good at looking good nor am I. I think it’s the lack of

association with any people. I see a reunion went on up in my old hometown

and I will bet that is the most social contact they saw all year. My own society

has come from coffee shops and suprermarket shopping. What kind of life

is that? I can graft any of the meditators off to go out with me or visit, either.

Does all this go back to the party animal concept? I really never knew of a

party animal although I knew of one fellow accused. He was a very rich friend

of one of my friends. He broke things and sometimes disgusted people. Although

he was rich he was not generous as such except to let us see the fine things like

the expensive apartment and the new BMW .  I don’t know how much of an

animal he was as much as I know that kids are obliged to parents to not throw

their money around. It’s they who are rich, after all and not the kids.

So, were you labeled a party animal? Was I? I never had any money. I couldn’t

buy a job. Actually, they used to have agencies that would demand your first

week’s pay. Actually, mom kept me from that. Mom interfered quite a bit in my

getting a job, finding a place, etc. I guess that had to do with the marriage. Billy

was not around and John was raising his SONS in N.Y. There were cousins who

were mostly young. The youngest disappeared and I was left associating with the

drug dealer among them. I liked him but he was older and ran with a dangerous

crowd, I figured. His parents owned a bar and he worked there. His father also

sold drugs and was arrested for a ton he had landed at a local airport. That was

around the time I was banned from commune land. Like I said, I never had any

money so everything was OP’s, other people’s. I had no idea the family could be

so powerful. I should have consulted with my hated father about not getting married.

Sure, then the money would have flowed. Right. He would have understood my

not marrying one of the naked women at the “commune” and helped me out

financially. Right. I guess I was surprised at how much mom was tied up with

him. I guess after all those years of doing everything herself she didn’t need any

trouble like divorce and finding some place to live and the animosity. And his family

everywhere down here. She would have to move away. If she got the house in a divorce

she would have to sell it and get out of town I think. Everywhere. I wonder if that was

my fault, trying to avoid school, I hung around the local area quite a bit, chasing women,

smoking dope and drinking beer. Ram, the meditation teacher, tells me I shouldn’t

dwell on these things in the past. I think I do because society makes such a big deal about

them, the college degree, getting on your own, marrying, having children, keeping a job,

retirement and on and on. It has it all figured out and look at it. It’s going broke like me,

wasting trillions on wars of the billionaires’ choosing.

How can stay in the moment? How can I stop worrying about money and relationships?

That’s been the theme here, money and relationship. I had no money, so no relationship.

The key to sexual gratification in college was buying that good bag of dope, luring a woman

to your apartment or room in the apartment and getting her stoned. What a relationship!

Totally based on intoxication.

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