Michelle the Rotweiller

Oh, the holy one has quit me!!! Her Heavenly Father has found sin in my heart.
The Blessed One with the rotweiller. She says so and I believe she does, have a rotweiller.
Oh Blessed One, so happy to meet you! You and your jealousy. You and your ignorance.
But that was mom’s hard luck wasn’t it? She always attracted the most ignorant, the rednecks, the orthodox christians, the money grubbing republicans.

Self Disclosure

I saw again in the news a comment on limiting what one says on the Net. It’s a good rule for any social venue. Keep it close to the vest.
Some psychologists speak against this however and in Siddha Yoga they speak of overcoming “inwardness,” which of course is the danger in not revealing much about one’s self.
I have also noted admonitions about an artistic disposition. On Mother Jones’ Live Wire, a discussion board from the ’90’s many resented my newly learned hypertext protocol skills. Their were others whose skills were more advance than mine who posted pictures of cute animals in their comments. I didn’t know how to do that but I did know how to make the text large and in many colors and fonts.
It revealed something about me just as others who were more tight lipped and conservative revealed their personality in getting all upset about it.
For some people social intercourse is a game. They lie, they cheat. What kinds of friends would they be? How would you feel if someone told you he had to lie because he was on the Net and didn’t know who might be listening/reading? Would you understand that? How about lying in the normal course of a relationship? She had to wash her hair, they were going somewhere that weekend. These are people who are just avoiding you.
No person is more tight lipped about his personal life than the paranoid personality and likely to promote the same. Think about that.

Naughty Amateur Videos don’t get no Gays

I wrote to Naughty Amateur Videos about gay sex on the show. There is a lot of Lesbian sex on the show but none Gay.
It took a while but I got a reply from the show today.
This is what Team Jesse said, ” Unfortunately, as much as we love Gay Men, we don’t think our subscribers would appreciate seeing man-on-man action on Playboy TV!
Furthermore we have not yet once received any gay submissions.
Hopefully one can we can launch a GAY TV network and then you can see all the amateur gay sex you like on that network.”

Amateur Gays! Oh, my!
Not a couple of dudes in the whole world who have set a cam and done it and sent it to Playboy’s Amateur Videos. What kind of world are we living in?
I wonder what would happen if a couple of dudes did? Would they get a Bill O’Reilly act or something? A stern reply from Playboy saying they should be ashamed of themselves. Or “you are beneath us!!! We do not publish faggot videos on PBTV! Just Lesbo!”

I used to belong to a website called BiCafe. I did mention Playboy TV there and I was later removed from the site due to “complaints.” One bisexual woman had mentioned a friend of hers really loved Hugh Hefner and that Hef had done great things for him. After that came the website proprietor’s statement that there had been an unprecedented number of complaints which he put at the incredible number 2. That was Michael Page. Could it have been Michael and his lover Han who filed the complaints themselves?

Well, I was kind of broke and couldn’t afford the site but I resented being thrown off. I think they resented my poverty. I was always complaining about money. You have to complain about something don’t you? I mean you would like the erotic pictures of men and men and women and women and women and men on a slideshow, but Michael couldn’t do that. Well, it doesn’t matter. I am still personna non grata at BiCafe.com. I had been a big hero there for a while writing about how I was outed sort of in Jr. High School. Maybe it was not realizing I really was being outed and not humiliated at 13.

Oh, I don’t need to go on.

There is no Gay erotic network on TV much as there is no Buddhist or Guru network on TV. The money don’t allow it.

Elvis and Nixon

Mother Jones publishes a letter Elvis Presley wrote to Nixon.
They say Elvis apparently loved Nixon. Elvis and love, isn’t that something?
I made a comment on the site comparing Elvis and Dean Martin or Tony Bennett, both
romantic singers. I saw a commercial the other night for Dean’s comedy hour. They
were calling it the greatest variety show ever. Didn’t they remember Andy Williams? For
sure that Moon River would give Everybody Loves Somebody a run for its money and Tony
Bennett’s I Left My Heart in San Francisco was a big hit among those who were not
tripping and smoking dope for fear they would lose everything they had.
Elvis was not a drinker like Dean and Sinatra or the rest of the Rat Pack. Maybe that was
the point. Maybe he wanted to compete with the crowd that Nixon liked to identify
himself with.
In the documentary Elvis: His Best Friend Remembers there is a description I believe of
Elvis’ wanting to be a narc. Could be Elvis hadn’t tried any dope by then. Many of us
could be a little strange about dope before we ever tried it. I am still to this day wary
of hypodermic needles. Many of my friends considered the needle just another way to
get high.
I don’t know the total circumstance and MJ does little to elucidate the whole scene.
I remember the King being submerged beneath the Beatles, Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones
as well as Frank, Dean, Sammy and the other ancient crooners who didn’t wiggle their
hips when they sang a tune. There is a lot of competition in the world and it seemed there
was little to praise in Elvis in the 60’s. That you can get a picture of him with Nixon doesn’t
seem unusual when nobody (no critics) could be thankful to have him in the world.
It’s a shame that his physical beauty that caused women to go mad with lust kept his
beautiful voice and ability with a song to go unnoticed. In the sixties he took those queer,
ugly, country songs and made them sound like something professional, something slick, something
with talent. Your Cheatin’ Heart or Guitar Man were not number one hits but great interpretations
of traditional country music.
When do we stop demanding that our performers make the charts. The Beatles were likely wise to
get out of the record business when they were expected to make the kind of music that made money instead of music that they liked.
I liked Elvis. I would have liked him to be as big as Jimmy Stewart, nominated for oscars for his performances in those movies that nobody liked but made a lot of money, like Follow That Dream or Blue Hawaii. He could have done more with some help. I can imagine what kind of concert films he could do if he could be featured with other big names instead of just his own.
Elvis wasn’t a political thinker. MJ mentions his inability to write. He wasn’t an educated “boy.” Didn’t he drop out of high school? What can they expect? Do they think Marlon Brando was a genius, too?
It is too bad that Elvis couldn’t have taken a page out of Brando’s book with his embrace of the American Indian movement, but maybe you had to be an actor to do that.
I saw that film on Bobby Darin that Kevin Spacey did. Was it real that Darin had a heart defect all his life or was it the life he led that destroyed his heart. He seemed to be on both sides of the fence in the sixties as well. Swinging and folk-rock.
Of course it wasn’t my generation. I was only 3 years old when Elvis hit the stage at Ed Sullivan theater.
I did impressions of Elvis singing Hard Headed Woman for my family when I was 5. You couldn’t really call him my idol. That was Bugs Bunny, I think. He was popular to a generation of war babies. I was a boomer.

The 70’s and the 60’s

Everybody puts down the 70’s. I had my first sexual encounter in the 70’s, lost my virginity to the most beautiful girl. I smoked so much marijuana it would get you high just thining about it. I listened to all kinds of good music like the Allman Brothers, Dylan, The Beatles, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Leon Russel, Edgar Winter, Johnny Winter, Uriah Heap, Jethro Tull, Zep, The Who, The Rolling Stones and the list goes on …

I visited with beautiful women my own age, younger and older who didn’t wear bras and didn’t care if you saw their breasts or not. They were what was called in those days sexually liberated, before the word whore came into vogue to describe the sexually free.

I took psylicibin mushrooms in the 70’s. Moved away from N.Y. to Florida and experienced central air conditioning for the first time. I owned my first car in the 70’s albeit it was kind of a cheap bomb. I traveled to the Florida beaches on the coast and down in Miami.

I had other sexual adventures after my first in the 70’s. Inthe 70’s I went to college.

It was the 80’s and 90’s that were a bummer to me. In fact the start of the 21st Century hasn’t been too hot either. No sex, no friends, no drugs.

I was a kid in the 60’s. My step-brother used to come to the house after he moved out and take me into Brooklyn for Veal Parmigiana, visits to Coney Island and other joys. Money was hard to find for him but he managed to keep a convertible in nice shape, whether it was a ‘54 Mercury, a 58 Impala (used), or a brand new ‘65 Impala.

My uncle, a Polish American cab driver in Brooklyn, also had trouble with money but he managed to buy a motel in the Pocono Mountains and my setp-brother and I visited there in the Summer.

The 80’s found me stuck at home with my father and my mother. My father had skin cancer and couldn’t go out. Since I was a little boy I had never had so much of his presence. It wasn’t fun. When I was a kid he was always at work, thank God, and he only was with me to go fishin’ or huntin’. Those of course were learning experiences.

In the 90’s my father died and I got to visit in South Fallsburg, N.Y., the Shree Muktananda Ashram. Although I enjoyed the time with my mother in that decade I didn’t care for being unemployed for almost all of it.

Yuliya

On Mate1 I met a Russian girl named Yuliya.
She lives in Russia. I forget the actual province or city.
I’ve quit Mate1 so only the girls I gave my e-mail address to can reach me.
Yuliya is very nice and today she sent me a photo of her and her girlfriend on the beach.
Both of them are very pretty.
I know she hopes to come to the U.S. She wrote about boats in a dream with flowers on it and a hand reaching to me.
She writes in broken english but it is understandable. I’ve begun writing in broken english, too.

An uncle of mine died on the 10th. He was the youngest of my father’s 4 brothers. He had, I believe, Hodgekins lymphoma.

I made a comment at Facebook.

I was over at the Sun Forums and I saw a reply to my complaint that Florida was being ignored by some prominent musicians, like Springsteen, David Bowie and Patti Smith. I was undressed by on rock fan who noted that Springsteen had been to Florida often, every year I think for the past 8 years or something, but what I had meant was that Bruce, David and Patti had never appeared in the O’Connel Center, the colliseum in Gainesville, Florida on the University of Florida campus which has hosted Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones and the Who. Elton John has also appeared in Gainesville, but canceled his last promised engagement.

A lot of Bruce Hornsby lyrics keep rolling through my mind. I don’t think he has been here either though Billy Joel has, playing in the Phillips Center for the Performing Arts as one of his last gigs. He was going on to classical music from there he said.

I just wondered at the Forum if musical tastes had suffered thanks to a general closed mindedness here.

Why Edsaves77?

I named this blog Edsaves77 because it was about that time, 1977, that I came to believe I was the expected Bodhisattva spoken of in the books by Alice A. Bailey.

Work

Does anyone know where there is a job for a college educated 56 year old male? I do not have a B.A. just an A.A. but I have a Certificate in Business Data Processing.
Are you considering putting your business on the Net, taking orders there, or do you need some computer supervision?

Turning into a Shit Day

Today is Gurumayi’s Birthday. I’ve followed her for years BUT I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY SEVA.
So that’s a big deal at the website today.
I also have gotten involved with Prem Rawat, a.k.a Guru Maharaji. You remember him from the 1970’s when he was just a kid.
I got knowledge from him. Maybe it’s because I did the knowledge today that I see this big Seva thing. I think they all want their own special disciples who serve only them.
Maharaji doen’t care for the last part of the Siddha Yoga saying, God lives in you as you. God lives in you indeed, but not as you, he says.
Today is not his birthday though.
I attended the Siddha Meditation for years as I almost said and I have a lot of karma with it.
It’s almost a little more than an hour before the satsang and I’m not digging it. NOT DIGGING IT AT ALL!