Storage

I have a small storage space over in Melrose. I pay a little over $50 a month for it, but they won’t accept a credit card payment or PayPal, so I am trying to remove the contents of the container and let them have the space back. If I can do that by the sixth, I won’t have to pay.

It’s been an ordeal. I live upstairs. It’s hard enough bringing groceries up but these big boxes are another thing. It has been a real workout.

Back stairs to apartments C and B at 350 Lawrence Blvd., Keystone Heights, FL

 

 

Accounting

I’ve been turned into a kind of accountant. I have to cut back on this and that which means calling services and companies. “Cancel my subscription please.” “Cancel my service, please.” And then there are arguments, the young sales representatives on the other end don’t want to lose a customer and they must argue with you about keeping your service.

Then, if you got no cash, think of selling things. How much are your things worth? Used things? Figure what you bought them for and then depreciation. Can you remember what you bought your shit for? How much that plasma TV cost and its attendant stand and etceteras. Your marble Ganesh statue? Will anybody else pay, $595 plus shipping for it, now?

How about your books. Some fresh books I bought for $400 now are $2 a book I read online. There were 18 volumes, that makes them $36.

$125 sandalwood statues, I bought years ago of Mahalakshmi (what a joke) and Saraswati (culture and education, another joke) now probably 5 or 10 dollars. And who would take advantage of you this way, your fellow devotees of course who are doing you a favor because no one else gives a damn for “that SHIT.” When you heard someone say they are Christian this is why, to set themselves apart from you, not to serve the will of Jesus Christ although apparently Christ’s only will was to convert the world to Christianity. When that’s done he’ll come again.

But, all that keeps the bank account safe. That’s really how they conduct the wars nowadays. That’s how they are “losing” the “war on drugs” they say on TV. Drug dealers are still making bundles of money, but former pot smokers like our humble self wallow in poverty, our hair cut short, no parties and no rock and roll music.

So is it the war on drugs, religious divisions or something personal? I can’t figure it out.

I’ll bet there is a lot personal going on with the big drug pushers. Who screwed who, who took who’s girlfriend, who made the other look like a fool, who will get into the harder drugs and who won’t, who’s the good two shoes and who’s hard core?

I can’t believe all the good friends and family who have abandoned me. These collectors are getting more and more serious as I fall further and further behind.

 

KNOW

If you make mistakes these days you pay for them so there should be a new promotion for the school and universities showing a man being executed because he didn’t KNOW something. A big stern face should should appear like, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. There’s a lot more than time to crime, buddy, but they don’t tell you that. Employers will look at your criminal record and even though it says on your form that it will not affect your hiring, it WILL.

KNOW THIS, the length of your hair will keep you from getting work.

AND THIS, joining with your friends at the every popular pot parties will

keep you from getting work.

AND THIS, if you have strong counter culture opinions this too will keep

you from getting work.

When I first started out, MoJo’s Live Wire

When I first started out on the Internet with the computer, trying to reach out and get some help, I posted a lot on a discussion board for Mother Jones called Live Wire. Clinton was still president but I was hardly aware of it I think. I wanted to meet people or just talk. The Live Wire was someplace to talk abut the issues of the day. I had learned some minor tricks with html after a class in community ed. and I used my new knowledge in my posts to the discussion forums. It upset some of the old guard. One fellow said he was going to break my fingers and he scared me. Of course he couldn’t find me. There was too much security and I hadn’t disclosed my name and address, still these fellows had big voices and posted long wordy posts about government or the lack of it and seemed to be real important daddyos. There was a nice woman on my side whose nickname was Toad Woman. She lived up in Baltimore and had a kid and a brother who was fucked up from being in Vietnam and she worked in computers in unix, whatever that was. She suggested I get work in fiberoptics but that my eyesight would suffer. Fiber optic, she explained, was the latest high speed internet medium. She was a nice woman and we called ourselves keyboard friends.

My posts to Live Wire were often in defense of counter cultural positins, like nudity and legalized marijuana and I was treated like a nut. I would talk about Gurus and meditation and they gave me the cult label. One post said something about Eddie Bryan having a space ship that had just landed. Another spoke of the “brown acid” as in Woodstock. I wasn’t taken seriously and like I said a fellow said he was going to break my fingers and it scared me.

I told my online teacher who was teaching an online course on being onlin. Her name was Michelle Ratliff. From her name I knew she was a womana.  I knew that from semesters before when I looked at the courses I was going to have to take and who taught them. What did she look like, though, I wondered. Finally, one day I got to see her. I had a problem with WinZip. She told me it was very easy but it was difficult for me so she invited me to her office. She was very attractive and looked a lot like a young woman I h ad a crush on in college. This girl was the girl friend of one of the guys I had met going to Santa Fe College in the 70’s and in fact we had a falling out that led to a fight over her. She was in art, though. Her name was Carol. So, I was already attracted to this teacher and this teacher was younger than me. The thing was, we had had this argument at the beginning of the semester when I had given an answer to a test question that Earthlink, a well known Internet Service Provider had given on its installation disk. It was wrong. The question was about URL. What did it mean? Earthlink’s disk said it meant Universal Resource Locater but the academic answer is Uniform Resource Locater. Well I didn’t get an A because of that and the work in this class was difficult. It wasn’t just this class it was all the classes and I was worried that if I didn’t get a good grade I could have my grant and loan cut as was the law that come in these more and more conservative days. Jeb Bush was Governor. He cut back education. He cut back academic freedom. If you got convicted of a drug related offense at school you lost your loan and grant and you couldn’t come to school. It’s still that way. Since Jeb Bush succeeded in becoming Governor and electing his brother to the presidency, no other party has held power in Florida.

This little incident, with a teacher I actually liked, has caused me to not be allowed back into Santa Fe College in Gainesville, Florida. I haven’t been able to get a job with the Certificate in Business Data Processing I got from it, either.

Another incident that happened while I was taking this online class was I was out late at night, there were Raves in Gainesville in those days, and a fellow popped out of black truck like vehicle and screamed out at me, “YOU’RE A FAGGOT!!!” It was something that may have been half true but I didn’t appreciate the fellows tone. In fact it sounded like he was going to assault me. And as I took a little closer look at him I recognized a person from my past, a young man with short hair who tended to the conservative view of things. I shared this with my Internet teacher. You see, since this was a wholly online class e-mail was a necessity. Many teachers didn’t pay any attention to the messages you sent them, the classes being held on campus actually, but here it was more necessary. I’m not sure but somehow Ms. Ratliff got to hear me pouring my heart out. The years of living with my parents, alone, without friends. I had to speak to someone and I spoke a couple of volumes to her. YOU could hear me at any discussion board though, if you wanted to. I didn’t think I was doing anything frowned upon in telling the woman some things that were difficult for me including my feelings about sexual preferences. If I was gay or bisexual would I be less likely to be hired? Would I be harrassed, assaulted? It worried me. Would I become a sissy, swishing and lisping and would I be hated in my family, which is very good at hating with out anyone calling it hate. I shared these things with Michelle and I got a man to take over. I got an old Jewish man take over and throw me out of her class. A man in the money, in the accounting, a spreadsheets man.

God is Misunderstood

I was going to say that but the reaction to it was such that it made me think such statements were against the law, that there was no freedom of speech in America anymore.

Tim

Welcome to FLA. It’s bigger than NYC.

I was encouraged by the home schooling of Tim Tebow. In my unemployment I learned many things, too. I read many books and improved my writing skills through a correspondance course.

It’s nice to be able to think of the Tebow experience when I reflect on my years. Often it is met with criticism for not having a job in those days. I still don’t have a job and I continue to search for one.

The Godfather and Bill Pay

I was just looking at the Wells Fargo ad that came with the new credit card that replaces the Wachovia credit card. It’s never been easier to pay our bills. Isn’t that delightful?

I imagine some usurer working for the Godfather telling you that at the pool hall. “It’s easy now,” he intones in his Brooklyn Italian accent,” you can do it electronically now.”

Job? From CareerBuilder?

I get this job from Career Builder to deposit checks in my account and then send them the money from my account. Supposedly I’m supposed to deduct 10% from each check. Now I read I send the checks back via Western Union. I’m sure this same job was offered before and I inquired about it but then thought it was some kind of scam. I wrote Ken Amaro of WJXT about it. He exposes scams like this in a segment called I’m Telling Ken. I haven’t heard from him. Maybe he has commented on it at a website, I don’t know.

I answered another ad I believe that was pretty much the same thing except maybe more assurance offered that it is not a scam. The company has been around for so long but of course you might remember in “Sunshine Cleaning” the truth doesn’t matter in business.

The only other job offer I’ve gotten from Career Builder was a post office job that ended up I had to go to school, actually a school to pass a test for letter carriers or post office workers. I didn’t want to spend the money. Silly me. I guess it’s the being all alone that does it, maybe I should have. It would be nice to have people around to comment and make suggestions on these things, like a pretty young woman, but that’s life I am told.

I want to share the e-mail describing the job with you. You can read it here:

Having seen your resume I would like to offer you a position with our
company. My name is Alicia Gordon and I am the International Human Resource
Manager of Inverness Medical Innovations PLC. I am pleased to inform you
that we have an open position for you within our company.  

Before we start I want to point out that you can work for us part time also
even if you had a prior job before talking to us. All you have to do is
check your e-mail a couple of times per day, a trip to your bank and a trip
to a Western Union office or agent. You can use the "Find Agent Location"
search function on the Western Union website to find an office close to you.
With every check that you process you instantly earn 10% from its total
value cash in hand and also a consistent bonus. How does it work: you will
receive the first check as soon as you send back the filled contract with
your actual name and address which we need to be able to send the check to
you. Depending on how fast you will send the funds from the check back to us
you will receive the next two checks and so on, each fast processed check
yields two new checks to process. This is the dream job for many people that
have joined us. There is no trick to it. You help us clear our funds from
orders we receive from our customers in the US and we will repay you
handsomely. You have our monies with you all the time while processing a
check so you will keep your commission plus bonus instantly and at the end
of the month you will receive the $1,000 salary as a fixed income at the
address you specified in the contract (which can be changed afterwards if
you relocate). Ask for the contract today and we can start in a few days as
soon as we finish processing your information and a few verifications for
safety. If you sign today you will receive your first check within one week.
Don't miss out on this great chance to increase your income, ask for the
contract and further details right now!

Our company was founded in 1972 and it has quickly grown to be one of the
largest resellers in United Kingdom of medical equipment and apparatus as we
as in the rest of Europe. We have contracts exclusively with hospitals and
other medical companies and groups supplying several hundred types of
products ranging from surgical needles and syringes to MRI and EKG machines
and everything in between. Our partners include top manufacturers around the
world such as GE Healthcare, Medtronic, Baxter International, Tyco
Healthcare, Philips Medical Systems, Cardinal Health, Siemens Medical
Solutions, Zimmer Holdings, et cetera. Our company has grown very fast
during the last few years and now we have expanded our market and business
to the United States. As such we have a high demand in terms of job openings
in almost every state and we are looking for dedicated and hardworking
individuals to work for us and help us expand.

Our success is due to the fact that we are able to meet our customer's
demands in every shape or form and at any time. We are very flexible and we
can honor our orders when others cannot. Very fast delivery system combined
with the fact that we accept almost any type of payment and great customer
support are the reasons why we have been able to grow so fast and took us to
where we are today. We take great pride in what we do because it is not
always easy to satisfy all customer demands while still processing the
orders very fast and receiving payments for the products in a timely manner.
We need you to work for us and bellow you will find the job description and
what will be asked of you should you decide to accept our proposal.

Job description:

-	NO SALES INVOLVED! Very limited contact: you will not be involved in
any kind of sales or contact with our customers;
-	Zero fees policy: while performing this job you will encounter no
fees to be paid in advance whatsoever;
-	Respect privacy: no employee from our company will ever ask you for
any sensitive information;
-	Total transparency: everything you will do is legal under the
European Union/United States and International laws as they are currently
applied.

Your duties are:

-	To receive payments from our customers which are mainly in form of
checks (only U.S. emitted checks, no international checks will be sent to
you; All check will be written in your name);
-	Cashing the checks using your existing bank account; do not use
checks-cashing stores, they charge too much, sometimes even 10% of the total
value of the checks
-	Forwarding as'' money in minutes'' by Western Union, we will pay all
money transfer fees after you will deduct your 10% commission from each
order you process.

Your benefits are:

-	Commissions: 10% from each check your will process in the first
month.
-	Salary: within one month after receiving the first check you will
receive $1,000 as fixed salary.

This is a commission based job, the faster you process orders the more your
income will increase. This bonus is given to also cover internet, phone or
gas bills. Please note that this salary will be sent after 30 days have
passed since you received your first payment to process.

-	Rewards for good performance: after two months of working for us an
increase to 15% commission from all payments might be applied to your
contract if you process and send all the transfers to us in a timely manner.
In this case you will be earning around $1,200-1,300 per week as well as the
$1,000 salary at the end of the month.

-	Education reimburse
-	Vacation (2 weeks for Exempt employees)
-	4 paid Company Holidays / 2 paid floating holidays
-	Large and stable corporation

There are also bonuses for cashing the checks and sending the payment to us
very fast:

-	Cash the check same day: $150 for each check;
-	Cash the check within 24 hours: $100 for each check;
-	Cash the check within 48 hours: $ 50 for each check.

The $1,000 salary will be sent to you in form of a cashier check.

The job opening is that of a Representative within the US. The today's
situation on the financial market requires us to open and fill several of
these job positions within our company. This opening will help our company
to reduce the time it takes to receive funding from orders that we receive
each month and we offer you one of the highest incomes on the market today
and the minimal expenditures of time. 

With the number of orders we have we cannot put them on hold for fear of
losing our customers, secondly we cannot cash these payments from the US
soon enough, as international checks take about 28 working days to cash
anywhere in Europe. We lose a lot of time and money each month because we
have money transfer delays. Our clients could pay us where we want by
sending checks to an US address. What we need you to do is to provide us an
address where you can receive our customer checks. We need someone who can
receive the money through this method of payment. Regarding the check
process all you have to do is to receive the checks our customers will send
to your address, take them to your bank, cash them and send the remainder
amount to us after deducting all fees incurred and your commission. You will
always take your commission upfront. All fees for transferring the funds
will be supported from our share. Bonuses will apply for cashing checks
within 24 hours upon receiving a check. 

We make direct contact for sales of products. Once orders are received and
processed we deliver the product to our customer (usually through USPS). The
customer receives and checks the product and proceeds to send the payment.
We accept all forms of payment but most of our customers pay using Bank
Checks and so to solve this problem and not lose any of our customers we
have decided to open this new job position. This job is legal according to
the U.S. legislation as it is today. Local money transfers take but a few
hours, so it will give us a possibility to get customer's payment almost
immediately. 

PAYMENT AND SALARY:

For example you receive a check as payment for 3000.00 USD, you deduct your
commission (10%): 300.00 USD and then send to us the balance: 2700.00 USD.
In the first month you will receive around 15-20 orders under 3,000.00 USD
to process and after checking your performance records during that first
month the orders you will receive, may increase from 3,000.00 upwards to
6,000.00 USD. For example 20 transactions each around 3000.00 USD gives you
a total income of 6,000.00 USD per month and after establishing a close
co-operation with us you'll be able to operate with larger orders and you'll
be able to earn more. You will also deduct fees that are related to this job
(gasoline, western union fees, bank commissions, etc.) from our balance, not
from your commissions. At first the checks you will receive will vary from:
$500.00 to $3,000.00. We will also send you a 1099 Form for tax deduction on
your part. Our payments will be issued out in your name and you can have
them cashed in your existing bank account, we don't accept newly created
bank accounts because it slows the cashing process. Deduct your percentage
and forward the balance to the company attorney manager via a western union
money transfer, the name will be given to you later after cashing a payment.
This job takes only 3-7 hours per week. You'll have a lot of free time for
taking up another job; you'll get good income and a regular job. This job is
very challenging and you should understand it. We are looking only for the
employee who satisfies our requirements and will be an earnest assistant.

We have health insurance and the 401K retirement savings plan as well as all
the other standard benefits that a major company usually provides.
Unfortunately we can only start talking about this after the first month has
passed since you're working for us. We consider the first month as a trial
period. In any case you do not have to pay for anything in advance; there
are no hidden costs for performing this job. Any fee you might encounter
will be deducted from our share of the funds before you send it to us.

You will receive next instructions step by step.

Unfortunately we cannot setup any interviews now, as we do not have any
representatives in US. We will be able to come to meet within the next few
months when the new offices will be opened in your area!

Please let me know if you are still interested. Within 24 hours after we
will receive this information we will forward you a copy of the contract you
have to fill in, sign and e-mail back to us.

Alicia Gordon
Inverness Medical Innovations PLC
Dover Street
Mayfair, W1S
United Kingdom
FAX 011-44-044-844-8484 

Doesn't it sound like you are running some kind of special financial service for them? It doesn't sound like it really requires a private individual.

Long Day, tough days

Had some trouble with my brakes today. Squishy, dangerous. Thought it may only be my brake fluid but took it to the shop anyway. I walked back. Oh, my God. I was invoking Him, too, to get back home. It was so hot and I’m so out of shape. It was maybe 3/4 of a mile. Even when I got back it took me some time on the bed to recover.

I’ve been e-mailing my step-sister in law about my terrible financial situation. She works at a Credit Union, Campus USA is the name I think. She is in auto loans. She married my handicapped step-brother in 1970. My step-brother used to take me places when I was a kid. He is retired from the Veterans Hospital over in Gainesville, now. He has had many jobs. We share an Uncle Al who just passed away in April at 92. Bill, my step-brother, dropped out of school. He wanted to buy a car, you know and saw no future in school.  I  made it through community college, but a few bad grades at the University kept me from graduating there. I  can’t get a job. I  don’t understand it. I can’t get any kind of dead end little shit job. I can’t find the jobs that everybody hates. I could apply at Dominoes and they would not hire me. I  haven’t because I have a real gas guzzling van so there is really no advantage despite their paying $12 to $16 an hour. I’m so hung up. I’ve applied to Starbucks and I saw a transgendering person at Starbucks today who works at Starbucks and I got a good vibe from him. Maybe they will contact me. That would be better than Dominoes. My best friend worked for Dominoes in the early 70’s and boy he used to fume about the place. He hated the job, delivering. It seemed like he was pressured constantly and the bosses had a bad attitude toward him.

The driving gets very busy in those delivery jobs and I don’t see my van as being convenient for delivering hot pizzas.

Sometimes I think my family is not my family. They are not the people I grew up with. They were never cheap and stingy nor fascist. That seems to be the rule. Of course, this is not the country I grew up in either. I don’t think anyone is trying very hard on their side, the employer side, the authoritarian side, the elder side, the leader side, to get me work, to help me support myself.

Remember the book Vanguard? I believe it was about the gradual takeover of America by Russia, was it? I never read it but I heard about it. Kind of like the TV Show, Amerika, that I never saw but all the critics did. The critics didn’t like the Russian accents in it. I’ve never seen the thing. Kris Kristofferson was the star. I’ve never seen it. Anyway this Vanguard was from back in the 70’s. I need to read it sometime. I guess no movie is forthcoming. I just don’t feel like I live in America any more.  No one is “fair” with me.

Even the closest of friends will then debate with me, “well, what do you mean by fair?”

 

Don’t you like to have sex?

I have been having trouble with a website I subscribe to called Get It On. I lost my password when I got on Roboform Everywhere. I synced up from one of my machines and I lost just about everything, seems like. Not sure how it happened. Everywhere is supposed to synchronize your passwords so if you change a password on one machine you don’t have to go looking for it, you know, go to the machine where you changed it or if you’re clever you have sent youself an email you can open up on your other machines so they have the new password. Certainly you don’t want to go around changing the password at every machine because you don’t have the password available.

So, I thought I could just get a new password as I was just saying, but I couldn’t because they had this old password.  So, I emailed them and they told me I had to call them and tell them the credit card I used, etc. Finally got around to that today. No credit card number was necessary. God, I do a lot of work. The computer takes up a lot of work though I can’t count playing chess and checkers and hearts, which I do quite frequently. If I do my workouts too, Jesus, I am tired. I have dishes to do and laundry, applications for work that take 30 to 45 minutes. Cooking is a pain. The real pain is I have no money.

So, let me tell you about Get It On. It’s an adult singles website. Exposure is ok here. At many places, i.e. Nerve.com you may not show erotic photos or videos of yourself. Here I would say they are encouraged. Nerve used to allow it but turned all uptight back in the 90’s and now talks some str8 bullshit about leaving things to the imagination. They have no idea what we can imagine even if the picture is naked. You used to see the big wangs and boobs all the time at that site. They had their own magazine, too, but now they let Cupid, or is it Fast Cupid take care of them.

I transferred from Adult Friend Finder to Get It On a year and a half ago. They are both about the same though I think GIO is not so up to par on keeping the website functioning properly. I haven’t been able to edit my videos. I have 3 or 4 of the same videos. I would like to delete a few but its all messed up there.